Soaps In Depth
April 18, 2000
Sweet & Lowdown

As a 20-year veteran of television, film and Broadway theater, Catherine Hickland says she easily could write a tell-all book about the biz. But nothing could prepare her for the experience of walking in Lindsay Rappaport's fashionable pumps these past few months. "It has been the hardest, most challenging time of my entire career," says Hickland, who originated the role in May of 1998. "I would go home at night shaking, in a very sensitive and fragile state."

The Insider

Beginning with the breakup of Lindsay and Bo's near-marriage and culminating in the recent loss of their baby, the actress has suffered right along with her character. "When you're in a high-pitched, emotional state, there's no switch to flip on and off," she explains. "You have to be in the moment, and that means finding the place inside that makes you feel like that and go from there." "I only get to be Cat six hours a day, so the lines are blurred," she shares. Luckily, her other half understands perfectly. "I told my husband [ALL MY CHILDREN's Michael E. Knight (Tad)], 'You're not going to see me this week and I may be a little nuts, so you'll have to excuse me.' I was just completely exhausted."

The Sixth Sense

Now that Lindsay has taken a fall, Hickland hopes fans will see the bad girl's good side. "Nothing is black and white," she insists. "although it's not always written that way, I fight hard to infuse those moments [of Lindsay's vulnerability]. If you don't have people divided about your character, then you don't have a story. And if everyone is happy that 'Lindsay got hers,' then there's no conflict." She does concede, however, that sometimes it's tough to find good in her alter ego. "There are days when I go sit on the front steps with a pack of Marlboro Lights and a bottle of something after I've finished my workday," she quips, "because I'm sickened by Lindsay's behavior."

American Beauty

Although playing Lindsay may seem all-consuming, Hickland has many other irons in the fire. The accomplished singer is working on another cabaret show, and soon will begin recording a new CD. She also is endorsing a skincare line Renaitre on QVC. "It's a skincare regimen that's just as good as anything you can get through a dermatologist," she explains. "I want to make it affordable and available to women who don't live in the metropolitan area."

Despite her outside endeavors, at the end of the day, Hickland says that Lindsay remains her top priority. "In five years, I'd still like to be on OLTL," she concludes. "I love what I do, and this is what I want."