Soap Opera Digest
February 17, 1998
Love When the Camera Stops

Real-life soap couples. An astonishing number of them exist today, more so than ever before in soap opera history. Why is that? What draws these people to each other? What are the upsides of being involved with a fellow soap star? What are the downsides? I posed these questions to a few of my soap-couple friends and found their answers both amusing and familiar.

Speaking from experience, the spotlight becomes a lot brighter when two daytime celebs hitch their stars to each other, and therein lies the rub. You quickly learn that unless you're having your private moments within the four walls of your house, those moments aren't so, well... private. It's particularly embarrassing if you're having a heated discussion (or making out!) just because the moment overtook you. Where most people are able to have these intimate experiences anonymously, famous couples are usually under the glare of the public eye.

Take the November night I was returning from Super Soap Weekend, and I spotted one of my fellow actors sharing a passionate farewell kiss with his girlfriend (also a soap star) at the airport. As they kissed and embraced, I watched in horror as a fan tapped him on the shoulder to get an autograph. Suffice to say, he was not a happy pirate of the Caribbean.

Kelly Ripa and Mark Consuelos are married in real life, as well as playing a married couple in on ALL MY CHILDREN. As Hayley and Mateo, they have jumped through flaming hoops to be together, and their fans are understandably thrilled when they see them in the flesh. "The finest example of [being in] the public life was when Hayley and Mateo were going through hell together on TV, but Kelly and Mark were in the hospital going through labor," recalls Ripa. "There I was naked from the waist down, and hospital staff were all coming in to tell us how much they enjoyed the show. While they were at it, they were taking a peek to see what was going on ... down there. So I said, 'Well, now you'll enjoy [AMC] on a whole new level!'"

Hubby Mark also ran into difficulty unrelated to the birth of their son Michael. "Poor Mark couldn't catch a break, because the nurses were dogging him about Mateo leaving Hayley because she had slept with Tanner," Ripa says, roaring with laughter. "Now I want you to know that I love my fans," she clarifies. "I will sign autographs until my hand hurts. It comes with the job and I enjoy meeting people." However, there have been some awkward moments. "I have a million," she nods, "but this is my favorite. Once, Mark and I were standing on a street corner having an argument about some ridiculous thing, and all of a sudden, I sensed a presence. So, I turn around, and standing there is a woman with a big smile on her face. I said 'Do you mind? I'm trying to have an argument with my husband! And she said "I love you guys. Would you mind if I just stood here and watched?'" Ripa laughs. "What's the point of getting upset? I think men take it more personally -- to protect a private moment in an otherwise public life."

AMC's John Callahan would agree. "One time, Eva and I checked into a hotel for a romantic tryst," he confides. "I ordered [food], and there was a knock on the door. I was expecting room service, but it was a fan!" Lesson? Next time, I'll use the peephole," Callahan laughs. He adds, though, that he really misses working with Eva since Maria was "killed" in that plane crash last summer. "I really enjoyed having my wife down the hall at work, so if I ever wanted a kiss and a hug during the day, she was only 10 steps away," he sighs. "Every day she's gone, I feel a little sadder."

When I asked my own husband for the upside of having a soap sweetie, he replied, "I always have a date for the Emmys and I get great dish." But he brings home his share of gossip. "Michael's dressing room is right next to mine," John Callahan told me. "If Eva and I were having an argument, no walls were thick enough. And always after a good argument, we'd open the dressing room door and people would be lingering mysteriously in the hallway, thus providing dish for the following week. Especially for the Knights." True enough. Michael loves to dish. But he also understands my ups and downs, shares my successes with total appreciation of what they are, and puts up with my insane life because he knows what it takes to follow a dream. And when I asked him for a more serious answer about life with me, he said, "I have someone who really knows the job. When I have a bad day, you put in perspective the problems and the blessings that come with the work." When I asked Michael for the downside of being married to me, he said there isn't one. (Good answer, hon.)

But I would have to agree with Kelly Ripa about the loss of private moments in public as being the downside. I remember our first vacation together six years ago, when we went to Walt Disney World. Michael was just going back to AMC. We were getting off the monorail, and a woman was so undone at the sight of Michael that she literally knocked me out of my shoes. I mean, there was nothing left but my sneakers. I was really angry at the time, but as I write this, I am seriously laughing at the memory. There have been so many more nice moments with people. They far outweigh the bad.

The thing that fans have to remember is that soaps focus on romance the way we want it to be. Not the way it is. The minute you walk out of the studio, it's "Who's gonna handle the baby's 2 o'clock feeding?" or "The cable guy never showed" or "God, do we have to eat Chinese again?" If people only knew the witty retorts that go through our minds in response to a fan's remarks re: our luck at having snagged the mate of the century. Well, I've got news for you. Everybody wakes up with funky breath, has a bad day or looks ridiculous holding a cat in front of their crotch when they got caught between the bedroom and the linen closet (Michael!).

And the same thing applies to sex. Its one thing to seduce the masses on the tube with an entire battalion of makeup and hair specialists to back you up. But the audience would do well to remember that the heroine has to moan when the hero kisses her -- it's in the script. When people say , "Please, folks, don't try this at home," they say it for a darn good reason. What passes for machismo on TV usually translates to foolishness with your mate. The minute you flare your nostrils in a passionate moment with your real-life soap sweetie, they laugh and ask what you're doing. Let's face it. Most of us have been there, done that, and bought the network-marketed coffee mug.

Alrighty, then. Having said all that, may I wish all of you dear Soap Opera Digest readers a happy, happy Valentine's Day. And on behalf of all soap couples, let me say that we love and appreciate you and the great stories you give us to tell. With any luck, we'll be able to do the same for you!