Soap Opera Digest
April 15, 2003
Product Queen

I bought a lot of stuff this month, and honestly, nothing thrilled me or even mildly excited me. In fact, I bought a makeover kit off a TV infomercial, even though it was $200 (“four easy payments of $49.95!” the announcer chirped). What I was led to believe and what came in the mail were two different things. The quality wasn’t there, and the colors were not universal. After I made my face up, my husband asked me if I was getting ready to audition for my third job as an exotic dancer at a “middle of the night” club in downtown Manhattan. Never mind the brand – I don’t want to sound mean, but four not-so-easy payments of $49.95 is a pretty good clue…

A few years ago, I got an e-mail that I loved. I can’t credit the author because I have no idea who wrote it, but I loved the sentiment so I kept it. Anything that honors women is okey-dokey by me. I am woman, hear me roar, indeed! So, this month, instead of writing about unexciting products, I am passing this along to you, my beautiful readers. I adore you!

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD HAVE: One old love she can imagine going back to…and one who reminds her how far she has come. Enough money with-in her control to move out and rent a place of her own, even if she never wants to or needs to. Something perfect to wear if the employer or date of her dreams wants to see her in an hour. A youth she’s content to leave behind. A past juicy enough that she’s looking forward to retelling it in her old age. The realization that she is actually going to have an old age, and some money set aside to fund it. A set of screwdrivers, a cordless drill and a black lace bra. One friend who always makes her laugh and one who lets her cry. A good piece of furniture not previously owned by anyone else in her family. Eight matching plates, wine glasses with stems and a recipe for a meal that will make her guests feel honored. A feeling of control over her destiny.

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW: How to fall in love without losing herself. How to quit a job, break up with a lover and confront a friend without ruining the friendship. When to try harder, and when to walk away. How to have a good time at a party she’d never choose to attend. How to ask for what she wants in a way that makes it most likely she’ll get it. That she can’t change the length of her calves, the width of her hips or the nature of her parents. That her childhood may not have been perfect, but it’s over. What she would and would not do for love. How to live alone, even if she doesn’t like it. Who she can trust, who she can’t and why she shouldn’t take it personally. Where to go, be it to her best friend’s kitchen table or a charming inn in the woods, when her soul needs soothing. What she can and can’t accomplish in a day…a month…and a year.

See you next month. >^..^<